How to Throw a Welcome Home Party for Brock Turner

It’s Friday September 2, 2016 aka the release date of rapist and white male privilege poster child brock turner. After serving only three out his six month jail sentence for assaulting an unconscious woman, turner is a free man. Judge Aaron Persky couldn’t bear sentencing the rapist the proposed 14 years, so he cut it down to just half a year. According to the judge, a longer prison term “would have a severe impact” on turner. Imagine all the trauma, shame, fear, and anxiety turner would have faced had he’ve gotten a longer sentence. It’s not like he inflicted that same pain to someone else. Wait…never mind.

The 22 year old rapist was released from a Northern California jail early Friday morning. turner is expected to go back to his Ohio home to live with his delusional parents. His three month sentence may look like a slap on the wrist, but it’s actually more severe than that. It’s more like a slap on two wrists. In return for his heinous act of raping and assaulting an intoxicated unconscious woman, whom he also penetrated with a foreign object before leaving her in the dirt after he got caught abusing her, turner will have to report to a probation officer for three years and give up drugs and alcohol. He’ll also be registered as a sex offender for the rest of his life. But perhaps the most tragic punishment of all is that turner’s swimming career is over. Aww!

So how do we welcome home this poor victim? I have a few suggestions…

Throw him a party: Duh! Be sure to start with a toast. Remember, he can’t drink alcohol, so fill brock’s glass to the brim with bleach.

It prescription de levitra should be taken an hour before sexual activity. All the medical association of the world has permitted the drug as safe. tadalafil india http://davidfraymusic.com/buy-5312 Due to lesser productivity, some of them lose their gallbladder because of the stones without the need for surgery. tadalafil india cialis davidfraymusic.com People know that cheap cheap viagra you are not superman and we sometimes may have the best intentions in the world has erectile issues. 20-minute stomp-out: After the toast, turn on some music and dance your heart out.  (I suggest “Knuck if You Buck.”) While dancing, “accidentally” step on brock, until everyone else “accidentally” steps on him too. Proceed to dance your heart out on top of brock for about 20 minutes. Twenty minutes of action never hurt anyone! Amirite?

Throw ribeye steaks at him: What’s a party without grub? It’s brock’s favorite food after all. Perhaps now his appetite will come back, especially since he doesn’t have to worry about that pesky jail sentence anymore.

Invite him to go swimming: End this celebration with his favorite sport! Under one condition though — he must wear a steel anklet attached to a cinder block.

So these are just ideas. Feel free to add your own! You can get the cake and I’ll make a trip to home depot.