Cheesy stock image of young people.

Today my Facebook timeline feed was jam packed with bizarre viral stories. However, despite all the fuckery I came across, one story stood out as the most ridiculous — Elite Daily’s “The 20 Mistakes You Don’t Want to Make in Your 20s.”  Obviously written by someone in his 20s, the list is ill-informed, shallow and downright vapid. The young writer, Preston Waters, goes on to advise us fellow clueless young adults to drop our lame friends,  quit our jobs, and to never fall in love lest we become  “like the rest of those miserable 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.”

Now, it is understood that Elite Daily boasts its douchebaggery and all around awfulness. The satire is decent for its (obviously) male demographic, so I was more disgusted by this story than really shocked. The real shock was that people were seriously eating this crap up.  When I began reading the article, I found it slightly agreeable but as I continued I read nothing but one-sided, ignorant, contradicting, and sexist advice.

It’s disturbing that people really agree with each line on the list. So for the sake of humanity, I decided to write the logical version, a rebuttal if you will, for each outrageous “tip.”  My comments are in pink bold.

20. Working for money, not for building your dreams

Never do anything just because it’s convenient for you. Look to challenge yourself and build your own dream instead of building someone else’s. Even if it doesn’t exactly make sense now, create something with great value so you can cash out big.

Always look to the future and never for immediate compensation. What are you going to do with those weekly wages anyways? Stop being so entitled and pretending like you deserve cash, prizes and vacations just yet. You will soon realize once you’ve made it that making money doesn’t make you happy. It’s the journey.

Right. I’m with you on the whole follow your dream thing. Although, keep in mind that it’s not a bad idea to take that immediate cash to fund your long-term goals. You want your own business? How else are you going to afford office space without working for the cash? Sometimes it’s the jobs with the “weekly wages” that allow budding entrepreneurs the flexibility and time to work on their goals. Plenty of waiters, bartenders, sales associates and receptionists are making that “immediate compensation” to support their dream. As with many young people, sometimes we feel too entitled too early in the game. If you want something, you have to work hard and sacrifice. Not every job will be glamorous and offer you the big office  — especially if you are seeking an independent career. Keep the hustle alive. 

19. Thinking that this is the right time to fall in love

While all of your friends might be doing it, don’t fall into the trap of a relationship. Sure it seems like the right thing to do, but your 20s are entirely too crucial for your personal growth for you to be focusing on fulfilling the wishes of another individual.

Not only does it make you complacent with where you are in life, but it makes you boring. When your business is at stake and your future is resting on your shoulders, the last thing you need is to be bogged down by an insecure lover rushing you home.

Get out there, meet new people, test the limits and have fun. It will take you to the places you’ve only dreamed of going.

So go out and meet people but be guarded? Test the limits with a limited mentality? I hate when people put age regulations on falling in love.  Not everyone is a money-hungry attention addict; some people don’t mind settling down once they’ve found “the one.” ALSO -Newsflash: not every partner is insecure or a burden. It is possible to find a partner who will grow with you. Imagine if you just allowed life to happen and perhaps even found someone who is a dreamer, mover, and shaker just like you. I know,  impossible right?  It’s not like President and Mrs. Obama met and dated each other in their 20s or anything. Barack’s future would’ve been ruined! Oh wait…they did and it wasn’t.

18. Trying to act like the man rather than learning how to become one

Instead of going overboard on the Gucci monogram and bottles in the club, as if you just signed to Rocnation, spend that time focusing on your career.

Every second counts and if more time is spent pretending to be the person you want to be instead of becoming that man, then you’ll sink in quick sand without even knowing it.

A real man is willing to make sacrifices. If you aren’t down to put in the work, then please don’t act like you are. You can enjoy the success when you actually attain it.

Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know this was a mens only article. How did my silly little female brain find this link?  Anywho, I think the writer meant to say “mature adult,” rather than “man.”

17. Making friends instead of earning trust

The in-crowd may be tempting, but you’ll probably fall victim to surrounding yourself with social climbers. We know you feel entitled to celebrate, but please relax. It’s never attractive when you act as though this is the last time you’ll ever see this in life.

Make connections with people based on trial and error, not presuppositions and drunk ranting about what they can do for your business.

If you ever want people to take you seriously, then you have to take them seriously. Just because you think you trust someone doesn’t always mean you can. Heed any red flags in the past before jumping into any kind of venture with them.

One of the few messages I agree with here. 

16. Not caring because you only live once — that’s for fools

We all are guilty of irrational decision-making in our 20s. Fast people and fast times with money in your pocket always lead to over-extending yourself.

A life of partying, heavy drugs and pretty much having that YOLO attitude will leave you flat on your ass. Get focused and lock into what you’re supposed to be doing. If you don’t know what that is, then you better figure it out ASAP.

Coming from someone who is about to hit 25, I can say from my experience and the experience of my peers and older friends, people in their 20s care too damn much. Now I’m not saying to be careless. But there is so much pressure to keep up with one another and to one-up each other, that people never figure out their own lives because they’re too busy worrying about “figuring it our ASAP.” Throughout your entire life so far, from baby stages to teen ages, we just had to go through the growing pains, the lessons, and self-discovery.  Your 20s is the best time to build your foundation but it’s not the ONLY time you’ll have to figure everything out. Believing that life will make perfect sense by age 30 is what’s really for fools. I met a woman who picked up photography in her 50s and is now a successful talent; she didn’t discover that passion until later in life and she has no regrets. We are layered beings and we will continuously enter new life chapters. Age 29 does not mark the end of the world. 

15. Making all your wants, needs

Expensive women and cheap thrills coupled with the expensive sneakers should not be on the list of your needs. Setting the foundation for your business and team is far more important than updating your wardrobe and chasing sex.

Distinguish between what you want and what you actually need. Make sure your priorities are in tact or you will lose your track.

Again, this is clearly not for women. However, agreed. It’s time to prioritize. According to Elite Daily’s article, priorities = money and power, but figure out what is actually important to you. 

14. Forgetting that family comes first

Those who supported you before anything deserve to be taken care of when you reach your success. If you aren’t doing this for the ones you love, then you’re not doing it right. Family comes first, no matter what happens. If you work for whom you love instead of just yourself, you will get far.

 Right…just wait until this gets contradicted in a later tip.

13. Blaming anyone else but yourself for anything in life

Hold yourself accountable for everything. At the end of the day, all you have in the world is yourself — so go hard. Don’t look to anyone for answers and instead of making problems, create solutions.

Whether it was that job you wanted, the funding you needed or the love you think you can’t live without, there is no one that can be held accountable in this universe except for you.

Look at him being all Iyanla Vanzant! Yass baybay, fix these lives! I agree. 

12. Getting comfortable like you actually deserve down time

Unless you’re chilling with Victoria’s Secret models in Monaco this weekend, you shouldn’t even be thinking about taking a break anytime soon. You need a vacation?

What have you accomplished? Mark Cuban spent seven years building out his first business before he even took a break. Don’t get lazy now.

Well,  Victoria’s Secret models make me look fat so I wouldn’t be hanging with them but I follow you. Oh wait, you were talking to men again. My bad. 

11. Sticking with jobs that didn’t teach you anything

A bad job is like an unhealthy relationship. Truthfully, the only reason you’re there is because it is the safest and easiest thing you know.

cheap levitra Dapoxetine is a chemical which targets the neurotransmitters in the brain. Without sex sildenafil 10mg life is like gets boring and impassionate. Lisa Gade, Editor in Chief, Publisher and CEO of MobileTechReview: “Odd pairing.” “I thought Windows S together with the Surface Laptop are an unusual pairing. cialis generika http://downtownsault.org/the-mole-hole/ Fortunately, there is an effective way to treat many severe vardenafil online australia medical conditions and dangerous habits. Any job or relationship that allows for you to get comfortable should be avoided at all costs. The last scenario you could ever want is becoming like the rest of those miserable 40-somethings faced with weekends of minivans and soccer practice.

Here’s the thing. Not everyone is trying to be the next Donald Trump or Oprah Winfrey. Today, we are so bombarded with this new image of the American dream which is get rich, famous, and star in a reality show. Do we all want nice things? Maybe. Do we all want to put in the actual work to get them? Not everyone does. I know plenty people who are content with working a 9-5 and getting their paper just to live a simple comfortable life. I’m more of a creative so I do want more than just a husband, a kid, and a white picket fence. We are all different. We are not all chasing the same thing. Some folks like minivans, some like private jets. In fact, sometimes it’s the rich and famous folks who are the most miserable. It’s all about following your own passion, challenging your own limits and overcoming your own obstacles. 

10. Following the crowd instead of forging against it

You can be aware of the trends, but never follow them. If all your time is spent trying to adjust to your surroundings, you’ll get lost in the crowd all the more easily.

Success and greatness are constructed by trendsetters themselves, not those who latched on to what’s currently trending. We hope that you don’t have any aspirations to look like your favorite rapper. Temptation to be influenced by those who you aspire to be like is easy, but no one finds his or her calling while following in the footsteps of another.

Actually, many people have found their calling while following in the footsteps of another. Why do you think mentors exist? Some of the world’s greatest thinkers and innovators were once apprentices to the greats preceding them. The one thing you should not do in your 20s is think that you know it all (yes Mr. Waters, I am looking at you). Be an individual but do not think you can get anywhere without a few lessons along the way. 

9. Failing to energize those around you

Although you may sometimes think there is a lack of talent in your networks — this is never the case. It is your sole responsibility to inspire, encourage and drive those around you to succeed.

Failing to do so only confirms that you fall victim to that which you accuse others of. Change and greatness can be sparked everywhere, but bring it upon yourself to trigger it.

 Right…share your gift. But…contradiction will arise very shortly. Keep reading. 

8. Thinking you need to stop learning and growing

You have more zeros at the end of your bank statement and stamps in your passport than you had ever imagined. Don’t consider this your victory lap, but rather as a taste of greatness. Do you live to enjoy the moments you dreamed of or a lifetime of unimaginable success?

The common misconception that once things are in your favor, you no longer have to put in the 3:00AM work hours is a dangerous problem. The fewer nights that you’re willing to put in the work, the fewer opportunities you will have to celebrate your achievements in the future.

 Yup. Keep the hustle strong. Continue.

7. Thinking that anyone will ever pay you back

Your 20s will be accompanied with a slew of poor investments by both you and those around you. Whether rich or poor, there will always be someone in your circle that will need a helping hand. If you ever think you’re going to see that money again, you’re sorely mistaken.

If there were a plan of action and re-investment, then the truth is that you will not see $1 back. Times are tough, especially in your 20s and finding a route back to financial freedom is often seen only when winning the lotto or signing your first deal with Ca$h Money Records.

Of course miracles do happen, but the probabilities that you’ve essentially given the money away are far too high.

Young people are bad with money.  True, since the beginning of time. 

6. Investing in relationships with the wrong values

Your love life is an investment — and the smarter the deals you execute, the savvier of an investor you become. Instead of navigating through an ambiguous investment in which you shower your lover with cash and prizes for existing, make sure he or she will demonstrate positive returns. Your love life should have a solid ROI.

But I thought we weren’t allowed to find love (see #19). If you do the right thing, ya know, just let life unfold, and you happen to fall in love, make sure it is with a person who can reciprocate your love and effort. No need to waste time on inevitable breakups. 

5. Holding on to friends that waste your time and add no value to your life

You’ll be sucked down into the abyss right with them if you don’t cut the fat of the group. Family and friends could have been great to you as a child, but if they no longer hold the value and inspiration that is needed for you to thrive in life, then cut them loose.

The only individuals you should be surrounding yourself with are those that challenge your ideas and motivate you to find the next solution to your problems. No, not the pessimistic assh*les who shoot down your ideas with their negativity, but rather the ones who genuinely want to see you succeed no matter what you do in life.

CONTRADICTION. First it’s put family first and inspire those who are lacking ambition, now it’s like FDB? *Severe side-eye* Anywho, this decade of our lives does bring about changes in all areas, including friendships. It’s ok if you grow apart from someone who was once your bestie. As you grow into yourself, you will attract and become attracted to people who are more your speed or share similar interests. Cut the friends who really don’t service you good vibes but keep the ones who are your roots. Those true friends may not be into the stuff you are into but when shit gets real, it won’t be your industry friends who will always be there to give a helping hand. 

4. Forgetting about the piggy bank and spending every dollar you have

If our check is for $9, then we’re most likely spending $30. Between credit cards, school loans and every other avenue for attaining a quick dollar, our need for immediate gratification is worse than ever.

The truth is it’s about making more money, not saving it. But at the same time, if you have no means for expanding your revenue channels, then you must be able to save a few dollars here and there. No one likes to have to walk to work because he blew every dollar at LAVO.

I concur. But again, we are “he” instead of “he/she”

3. Not wrapping it before tapping it

If you don’t want to have a child then you better limit your excuses. As vulgar as it may sound, sometimes there are only a few options in life, so you must avoid all potential margins of error.

The road to success is not paved with having responsibilities of children and your future wife to be. This is a somewhat lonely journey that you must take by yourself and those you love will be able to celebrate with you after.

Those darn future wives, ruining lives and shit.  Not like I have any dreams of my own, but I hope to not be in the way of my man’s success. Ya know since women aren’t ambitious.  I really had to check if this was a mens publication but Elite Daily clearly states that their content is for both male and female readers. Go figure.  Regardless, this is sound advice in regards to starting an unplanned family when you aren’t ready.

2. Dating unstable people with mommy and daddy issues

We need to control the invincibility we all feel when it comes to both men and women. Whether she’s a stripper or he’s a frat bro, we feel the need to be the knight in shining armor for our lovers.

As chivalrous as this may seem, we hate to break it to you, but you will never be able to change anyone. By setting yourself up for a losing battle, you’ve only ensured your misery for the next few months. She’s clingy for a reason, don’t be her Dr. Phil. And if he doesn’t have ambition now, he never will.

Ladies, we are finally acknowledged as readers! I also agree with this one. 

1. Forgetting that karma is a huge b*tch

Whether it’s burning bridges with people you loved, stealing your friend’s girlfriend or plotting against an ex-partner, we must always remember that karma is the biggest b*tch we’ve ever met.

There is nothing more true than the fact that whatever goes around comes around, and you are not immune to the cosmic forces that be. We’re not asking you to go on your Mother Teresa pilgrimage, but don’t be surprised when reality catches back up with you and brings you to your knees. Be a good person. You’ll get further in life.

Does this karma also apply to those who dropped their lame friends? How about the person who dropped their significant other in favor of fame and fortune?  Just asking.  This is good advice too. I like how he randomly drops some Deepak Chopra vibes into the mix.

All in all, this was definitely not an official list for every 20-something. This list was for the male, power-hungry, success driven bachelor. I’m all about success but I don’t let money and material possessions own me. Go ahead and be a winner in your own right but without heart and true intention, you’ll always be left empty — no matter how much you make.   I am unable to put out an “official” list as I am still in my 20s. What I can say is that, we all have our own unique journey and I think we should just deal and create our own path.