Pharrell Admits to Being Lost His Entire Career

Pharrell Williams is one of the few musicians I find most fascinating. After doing a story on his Billionaire Boys Club and getting the inside scoop on his process and career, I discovered a man beyond just catchy hits and funky clothes. He’s a creative genius (sorry Kanye).

Williams covers the April issue of GQ and shares some interesting and surprising confessions about his reaction to the Oscar snub, what he really felt about his first album, and being lost for the majority of his career. See highlights from the interview below:

His reaction to Oscar snub for the song “Happy”
Well, trust me: when they read the results, my face was…frozen. But then I thought about it, and I just decided just to…let it go. (**Ed note: I see what you did there Pharrell)

On how his 2006 In My Mind differs from this year’s G I R L 
Way different. In My Mind was just purpose-oriented toward, like, competing and being like my peers—the Jays and the Puffs of the world, who make great music. But their purposes and their intentions are just completely different than what I have discovered in myself that I wanted to achieve in this one. So it makes it easier to sing about, because I don’t gotta sing about myself. Jay’s good at that. He’s great at it. I began to sound so self-serving and so self-satisfied, whereas he can do it and make you feel inspirational about who he is and what his intention is.

He was unhappy with his first album
Of course. Because I felt like I had amassed this big body of work, most—not all—but most of which was just about self-aggrandizement, and I wasn’t proud of it. So I couldn’t be proud of the money that I had; I couldn’t be proud of all the stuff that I had. I was thankful, but what did it mean? What did I do? And at this point, where I came from, I’m just throwing it in that kid’s face, instead of saying, “Look at all the fish I have, and look how much we’re going to eat.” It should’ve been—at least a part of it—teaching them how to fish. 

How he overcame competition 
Because I think it’s so much more interesting to go inward, to experience the outer space that was built for you.

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The aether. The ultimate connection between time and space is time and space. Without time, there is no measurement of space. Without space, there is no measurement of time. We need them both to coexist. And the theory of everything is that everything exists at the same time, is connected. So we’re connected. Are we connected physically now? No. But are we physically connected in this moment? Yes. When you look back in this memory, the part of this fabric: yes! So there’s a lot of allusion that just goes over people’s heads, so they lose the importance of certain aspects.

On being lost throughout his career
No, because in 2004, I was still used to making money, going, “Whoa.” I mean, it’s understandable—2004, you know, I was 31 years old. I didn’t know no better. I’m about to be 41, so I understand the value of life. The value of life is the value of life, not “life” the word itself. It’s the definition. It’s where all the life is. Life is about definitions, not about the words. Words are just incantations.

So basically you’re talking about fifteen years of not knowing any better—practically your entire career.

Yeah.

I love that Pharrell admits to his twisted journey of self-discovery. So many people like to put on a front and act as if they’ve always had all their shit together. It’s encouraging to know that such a icon like Pharrell found success and happiness just by going through the motions. Flowing with what works, experiencing what doesn’t work and accepting the harsh truths about the progress and results.

Check out some shots from the editorial below. Read the rest of the interview on GQ.com.