Getting Over the Ex: Does Old Love Fade or Intensify Over Time?

Everyone has that one ex who will probably forever run through their mental space. And it’s not all just romantic thoughts, hopes, or memories.  Because of the impact that person left on your life, you simply just think of your ex from time to time. Yesterday I saw a video of performance artist Marina Abramović getting an unexpected visit from her former long time love (and performance partner) Ulay. The moment was so heavy, that it got my heart racing and my mind thinking. After years of separation, does old love fade away or intensify?

Abramović and Ulay famously performed together back in the 70s, creating some of the most bizarre and even most dangerous works of art to date. After meeting in Amsterdam back in 1976, the couple pursued a decade-long collaborative journey, living out of a van. Despite the magic between the artists, their relationship sadly came to an end but of course not without an artsy breakup. Ulay and Abramović each walked 2500km of the Great Wall of China until they met in the middle for their final goodbye. My breakups are usually done via teary phone calls and an “I’m sorry :-(” text.

Ulay and Marina Abramovic in 1978

Three years ago, during her MoMA exhibit “The Artist is Present,” which Abramović sat across from strangers and stared directly into their eyes for one minute, Ulay took a seat across from his past love. As Abramović lifted her eyes to prepare for what she thought was just going to be another fresh pair of eyes, she was surprised by a familiar face.  The artist was breathless; her face flushed with passionate fever, her eyes welled with tears. You could feel the rush of emotions through the screen, the moment was that powerful. The former couple gazed at each other before joining hands. I’m not sure what happened next but in my mind, they never spoke or saw each other again and that’s just perfect. Watch the moment below:
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It’s a funny thing love is. One day you think you’re over someone until you hear his/her voice or see him/her standing in front of you. I think distance can intensify old romance. Memories seem sweeter with only the good ones standing out, curiosity grows, and the mind wanders. It’s probably the mystery of what could or would’ve happened that keeps the fire alive. Perhaps old love does fade over time, especially if it is replaced. Maybe there is no concrete answer as we aren’t living with concrete hearts.

Share your thoughts below.