The Number One Question All Creatives Hate to be Asked

So, what do you really do?

Writers, designers, artists, creatives lend me your ears! How many times have you had small talk with old classmates, family members or neighbors who endlessly ask the dreaded question: “So what do you do you really do?” I can’t count how many times I’ve been asked that dreaded question. It usually comes right after I fill them in a little bit on what I’m working on. I usually don’t go too into detail because most likely they  won’t get it anyways.

(image: creativemarket.com)

Now that it’s the holiday season, I’m running into a lot of old familiar faces who are so curious to know what goes on in my “interesting” life (cue my seemingly exciting Instagram lifestyle). Instagram is a damn lie. Sure it can make you feel and look like you’re the shit when you post fun life moments but then you have to deal with everyone questioning you about it later. Newsflash: the snapshot is just a moment of my everyday incredibly boring yet melodramatic life. I digress. The point is, there’s no real answer to your question. Creatives, especially those in the early or hustling stages of our careers, do not  just work a simple 9-5. Our lives do not consist of a stable routine.

I recently caught up with one of my oldest and dearest friends and she asked what it is that I do. I explained that I am an independent blogger who aspires to do greater things with my platform and that I also write and contribute to popular publications to get my name out there. Still, that answer was not enough. “So what is it?”

I write.

“Ok. But do you write all the time? What do you do?”

I write.

“Ok. But what is a typical Monday morning for you?” Now, this was an interesting question. I immediately realized how different my life was from many I knew. I realized the risk that I have taken in this life, following my unconventional passion. It was at this moment, I saw why many don’t and won’t understand the day to day life of a hungry artist. So I said,

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Here’s the thing, creatives don’t have a boss or a chair to hold them down.  Sure we’ll have a regular day job for certain times throughout the year but our real boss is our mind and our guts. If I don’t find a project, I don’t get paid. I am responsible for my income, there’s no middleman. I am responsible for my advancement and I make my own hours. You’ll never get a clear answer of what my schedule is like. There are seasons when I’m working nonstop and then there are dry ones when my phone hardly rings.

Now if you asked me, what I do for a living, then you’d get a straight answer. By day I work PR in an office, at an established company, with a boss who cuts my check. But there are times you may catch me on another season, and I may work for another type of company. I work traditional and normal jobs to pay the bills but it’s not what I do.

When you ask “so what do you really do?” it comes off very condescending, no matter how much you mean well. Obviously the person you are inquiring about has already expressed some form of their aspirations to you, but their answer didn’t suffice. To me, when I hear that question it’s like you are telling me “Oh that’s cute. What bullshit! Now what is your real job?”

Hell! Sometimes, the questioners make me feel like I am talking bullshit. I try my best to explain my dreams, goals, and current movement but because it’s not always tied around a fancy agency or high-powered personality, it’s a waste of breath. The reason why designers, writers, entrepreneurs, and other similar types go on this treacherous and uncertain path is because of an undeniable vision. Most, if not all, people have a great vision of something bigger than themselves but many aren’t willing or interested enough to take the leap. It doesn’t make anyone more or less practical or ambitious. People just love what they love and do what they do. So if I’m not questioning you on why you decide to wear suits everyday at a stressful office with no vacation time, don’t ask me why I’m a writer.

It’s funny to me how much people like to look down on artists for following an “unreasonable” dream. Dancers are crazy for pursuing a career, singers are foolish, stylists and designers– what a lost cause! But it’s those same “crazy,” “pathetic” and “hopeless” people you all judge that you go fangirl over in years to come. Don’t shit on a singer’s aspiration but then go run out to buy Beyonce’s latest album. Don’t say acting is a bullshit career but spend your money to see the latest action flick. Don’t scoff at struggling fashion designers but then spend your last dollar on Ralph Lauren. Don’t look down on writers but go insane over Harry Potter. Oprah,  Kanye West, Jay-Z, Richard Branson, Steve Jobs, and everyone else who has influenced this world were once just a person who followed a crazy dream or idea.

So before you ask a creative what it is that they “really” do, consider their initial response as the real answer or better yet, sit back  and watch their answer unfold.